Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize