the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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