the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
We were destined to go to rehab together
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
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