dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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