I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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