I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize