OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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