This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize