After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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