What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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