where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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