We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
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I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize