She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
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The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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