just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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