True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
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Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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