she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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