He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
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The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
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I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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