I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm always down for nudity.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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