I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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