cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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