Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize