I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she looked like the before picture.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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