New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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