thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Houston, we have a blender
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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