Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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