You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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