I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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