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I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It was confusing and full of hummus
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Randomize
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