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If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
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