3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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