Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize