Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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