The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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