I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
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The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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