i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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