Texts From Last Night

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  (458): View more from Oregon

  So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...

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  (458): So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins... http://tfl.nu/wa72
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad

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  (443): just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad http://tfl.nu/g8m9
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (2611) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took

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  (770): he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took http://tfl.nu/2ren
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  (979): View more from Texas

  What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.

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  (979): What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls. http://tfl.nu/5u5z
  Replies (23) Good night (790) Bad night (5180) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead

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  (304): Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead http://tfl.nu/8a8b
  Replies (25) Good night (4522) Bad night (1498) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.

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  (256): My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred. http://tfl.nu/j0t5
  Replies (18) Good night (3842) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'

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  (778): No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain' http://tfl.nu/2rma
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.

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  (610): There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library. http://tfl.nu/m2ex
  Replies (11) Good night (3887) Bad night (806) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done

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  (318): We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done http://tfl.nu/r8w7
  Replies (4) Good night (3349) Bad night (1011) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.

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  (678): Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary. http://tfl.nu/nvwp
  Replies (17) Good night (4717) Bad night (569)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.

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  (701): I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this. http://tfl.nu/2wr9
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter

  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.

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  (214): She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter (214): Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous. http://tfl.nu/a0w0
  Replies (4) Good night (1383) Bad night (443)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.

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  (970): Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/abxe
  Replies (4) Good night (873) Bad night (338) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.

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  (570): Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor. http://tfl.nu/k71v
  Replies (3) Good night (713) Bad night (203) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.

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  (334): He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird. http://tfl.nu/8c4b
  Replies (3) Good night (144) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt

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