Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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