youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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