Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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