recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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