I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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