I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
My life is pants optional.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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