After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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