You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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