i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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