you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
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I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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