is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
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I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
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I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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