He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize