there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize