i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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